Lesson #2: Setting boundaries

gpcoachinglab
Sep 22
3 min read

The architect’s paradox reminds us that while we design buildings to last, to breathe, to create balance and well-being, we often neglect these same values in our own lives. One of the sharpest contradictions lies in how we handle boundaries.

In design, thresholds are essential — walls, doors, filters, foundations. They define, protect, and give meaning to space. Yet in our professional practice, boundaries blur until they disappear: work spills into nights, weekends, and holidays; client requests seep into every available minute; our own needs for rest, family, and space get pushed to the margins.

This lesson is about reclaiming boundaries as an act of sustainability — for ourselves, our teams, and ultimately, for the quality of the work we deliver.

The paradox in practice

Designing homes with sanctuaries of rest, while answering emails at midnight from your own bedroom.
Crafting spaces for balance and calm, while running on adrenaline, deadlines, and constant availability.
Advocating for community well-being, while rarely spending time in your own community.

Boundaries in design are celebrated. Boundaries in practice are neglected.

Why setting boundaries matter

Without boundaries, everything feels urgent, everything feels infinite — and we become depleted.

Think of the ER in a hospital: colour codes exist to manage emergencies, to ensure that the real priorities get attention first.

Why is it so difficult for architects to apply this same principle to their daily work?

When we know the timeframe for a task, our brains find creative ways to manage priorities. Without limits, there is always something “more urgent” to chase, another option to generate, another iteration “just in case.”

How would you explain otherwise that, suddenly, after having worked for months on a competition projects, pretty much the full work is generate in the last week or so?

The cost of working without boundaries is high:

Exhaustion becomes normalised: as mentioned in the previous posts, ****working late is seen as commitment, rather than a red flag.
Relationships suffer: Partners, children, and friends receive only what’s left of our energy.
Quality erodes: Stress narrows creativity, replacing thoughtful solutions with rushed ones.
The profession loses talent: Younger architects burn out and walk away.

Boundaries are not selfish — they are structural supports. Just as no building can stand without load-bearing walls, no career can endure without them.

What redefining boundaries could look like

Client boundaries Be clear from the beginning: when you are available, what turnaround times are realistic, what scope belongs to the contract. Boundaries set early are easier to keep later.
Team boundaries Normalise saying “not now” or “this needs to wait.” Build a collective culture where logging off is not only accepted but expected.
Personal boundaries Protect evenings, weekends, and holidays. Use rituals to mark transitions — close the laptop, leave the studio, silence notifications.
Digital boundaries Set email-free hours. Batch responses instead of reacting instantly. A less porous day means more focus, more clarity, and more energy.

A small experiment you could try

This week, choose one “sacred boundary” and commit to it, for example:

No emails after 8 pm.
One full week-end off.
A protected 1h lunch break away from your desk.

Notice what changes. Notice how it feels to protect this boundary — and how others respond. Often, the fear of disappointing clients or colleagues is much larger than the reality.